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| Hi. It's been a while. Look, it's not that I'm mad at you or anything. I've just been really busy. I really would just rather talk than write. Plus, I think I feel a little more open to writing when I'm not seeing someone. It's like I had a yearning for something, some sort of outpour of emotion because I didn't have a partner-in-crime. Now I have one... a really nice one. And I just don't find the urge to express myself on a blog that three people read right now. So... I'm sorry if you feel abandoned. I'm just busy and I just have a lot going on. And I've fallen for someone. My mind and heart are elsewhere.
Maybe I'll be back again some day. I kind of hope not... because if I'm gone because I'm in a beautiful relationship... well, then I hope it always stays that way.
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| Okay, so juggling a part-time job, near-full-time student teaching, 9 credits of classes, and a very endearing boyfriend is proving to be INCREDIBLY difficult.
The good news is that next term, no classes. Okay, one class, but it shouldn't be too hard. And it's online.
Holy freaking crap, people. I am so busy. And that, dear friends, is why you haven't heard from me in two(?) months. My free time is spent almost solely with Tom (yes, I became one of those people who only hangs out with her boyfriend, but it's not my fault, because whenever I'm free, no one else is). And we mostly just watch Arrested Development, while I do homework... which isn't exactly free time if I'm doing homework then, huh?
On top of the previously listed busy-ness, I also have a delightful, delightful little document I'm putting together right now called a worksample. Suffice it to say, if God made Hell personal to each soul stranded there (or if Satan made it personal, whatever theological stance you take when it comes to Hell), my Hell would be putting together a worksample. I sometimes want to kill myself right now (that may be a slight exaggeration). In order to become a teacher in Oregon, you make a worksample, in which you do the following: you have to plan your own interdisciplinary unit of lessons, and then go through all of this busy work and document all of this crap, and basically end up with 150 pages of nothingness proving that you are, in fact, capable of teaching.
The best part is? I probably won't even be able to get a job in Oregon this next year. So, I'm really glad I'm doing this stupid worksample then, because it's required for Oregon, but basically not required anywhere else.
So, with this acknowledgment that I probably WON'T get a job in Portland this next year comes the age-old question - well... if I'm not working in Portland, where will I be working? Seattle? Tacoma? The east coast again? Dare I say... BALTIMORE?
Okay, so maybe not. But maybe so.
I just really hope God does me a big favor and blesses me with a little guidance.
But having a boyfriend sure does complicate the "where should I teach" factor. By the time I move, assuming we stay together, we will have been together for 9 months. Some people run off and get married by that point... we definitely will not. However, it will be quite some time to be in a relationship before I just go moving across the country. Or just up the coastline. So, great, successful and happy relationship, and then Tammy moves away.
And now I'm bumming myself out.
The point of all of this is to update in my insomnia (I took a three hour nap this evening, and now I can't sleep) and emphasize how much I have on my plate and furthermore, how much I have on my mind.
For the sake of those who have not yet heard:
Tom is a handsome young man who manages the theatre where I am currently employed. He is very very nice. And very fun and funny. And very caring. We have had no arguments in our three months together, because he's so freaking laid back. I don't even know how to handle it. And he does that thing where if he knows I really like something, he'll make a mental note of it, and surprise me with it later at some time. It is wonderful.
I've definitely never been this happy dating someone. Yay.
That is all... for now...
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| Okay. I think it's safe to express myself here. There are certain times
when it... just... isn't safe for me to. That being said, I think here
it is. And it is here that I will say two things:
I have never been so happy over an election result as I was last night.
It made me believe Obama actually might win. It was thrilling.
The other thing: falling for someone is really easy to do when he is
wonderfully kind. And gentle. And smart. And right now? I feel really
lucky.
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| Tonight I learned:
that man is not dependable. Like... at all. But God is. Sooooooooo... is anyone surprised? I don't know why I would be.
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| So, tonight I went on a date with a guy that was WAY more attractive than me. But, it was fun, nonetheless. We had pizza at a special pizza place and played pool. Unfortunately, the pool hall had lots of smokers, and now I smell like an ashtray. C'est la vie. The moral of the story, folks, is that, you win some, you lose some. I guess I should just be happy that I got to go on a date with a hottie.
Life has been a little crazy lately. People stop calling when you don't expect them to. Dogs run away and come back. Boys that you think are trying to date you actually aren't, and the ones you think are just being friends keep trying to date you. And, the kindergarteners, as always, make you laugh. I don't know why I'm writing in second person, as all of these scenarios apply directly to me.
Unfortunately, I can't find a job that seems halfway endurable. I just sent my resume to someone so maybe I can tutor children - which would be great and fun. But it would only be a few hours a week. I really, really, really don't want to work at Sears again. That was the beauty of graduating from college - never working at Sears again.
So... I'm hoping for something to fall into my lap. Who knows.
But, at least I got to go out with an attractive guy. There's always merit in that.
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